Context: Inspired by C.S. Lewis’s classic – The Screwtape Letters, this fictional series features letters from a senior demon to his young protégé, exposing hell’s subtle strategies against believers. These are not meant to amuse, but to awaken.

This isn’t just satire – it’s a mirror. A sharp one. Because sometimes the enemy’s strategies sound uncomfortably familiar.

And because this particular letter is written in honour of a birthday, it does something else as well: it celebrates the kind of friendship hell would rather dilute, distract, or dismantle.

A reminder that when friendship reflects Christ, it becomes more than companionship. It becomes an avenue through which God’s Kingdom comes and His will is done.

And that is always worth celebrating.

My Dear Olivia,

I typically reserve my correspondence for my dear nephew Wormwood. 

However, this matter is of sufficient importance that I have elected to address you directly. Consider this a field report disguised as a birthday note. The objective however remains the same.

After all, some threats require personal attention.

And you, my dear Olivia, have become one of them.

Ordinarily, such occasions are harmless. A party, cake, balloons, photoshoots, a handful of sentimental words tossed about even with scripture and prayers that are typed but never prayed. The day begins, sugar is consumed, photographs are taken, posts are made on instagram, whatsapp etc. and by evening it is all but forgotten. We rarely lose sleep over birthdays.

But in your case, I must register a formal complaint.

You may appear harmless. Cheerful. Endearingly extroverted. Almost suspiciously kind.

But you are, in fact… inconvenient.

You see, friendships like yours are precisely the kind we caution against in our infernal briefings. The sort that does not merely share laughter but shares burdens. The sort that refuses to remain at the level of “vibes” and gossip.

Now, to be clear, we do enjoy friendships. The shallow kind. The kind that leads people comfortably toward ruin. Who wouldn’t? Not the Enemy, of course but I do not work for Him, so the joke is on Him. (A small laugh, if you will.)

We are not particularly concerned with social friendships. We quite enjoy those. Friends who share humour (preferably dark – a demon is allowed to have preferences), hobbies and even dislikes. Bottomline is the friendship must either be openly ungodly or, better yet, possess a convincing appearance of godliness.  (But then again, you have read enough of my correspondence with Wormwood to understand how effective this formula can be)

What we cannot tolerate is the kind described in Proverbs 27:17:
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Now, for clarity the principle in this scripture applies broadly. People sharpen each other whether for good or for evil. But when godly friends sharpen one another toward obedience and amplified desire towards God? That is especially troublesome.

David had such a friend in Jonathan. Scripture says that Jonathan committed himself to David and loved him as himself (1 Samuel 18:1), and when David hid in fear for his life, Jonathan encouraged him in God (1 Samuel 23:16). That encouragement made me quite angry but I must say I was impressed, human relations pique my interest sometimes.

Then there was Ruth who refused to leave Naomi, saying, “Where you go, I will go… your God will be my God” (Ruth 1:16). Loyalty like that is rare but is to be expected in godly friendships where you both serve God and therefore have no reason to part ways.

Then Paul had Timothy and then Barnabas. They were companions who encouraged him, defended him, and walked with him. Ecclesiastes 4:9 -10 had the audacity to declare that two are better than one, for if one falls, the other lifts him up.

And now, unfortunately,

Your friends have you, Olivia.

And that, my dear, is where the inconvenience begins.

We prefer that no one be lifted, encouraged or loyal.

But you, Olivia, have shown a regrettable tendency to do precisely that and more.

When your friend grows weary, you help them pray. When they waver, you remind them of the truth of scripture. When they are tempted to shrink back, you strengthen their resolve and remind them of all that God has said and destined for them and they are encouraged to not be lights under bushels or cities in valleys.

This is not how shallow friendships operate. This resembles something far more sacred and ultimately godly.

The Enemy once said to his disciples while he was on earth, “I have called you friends.” (John 15:15)

He modeled and still models friendship as mutual love, sacrificial care, and truth spoken without fear. Worse still, He sends His followers out two by two (Luke 10:1), as though partnership multiplies courage and as though fulfilling the truth of the scripture in Ecclesiastes.

You have been participating in that multiplication.

Friendships like yours become small sanctuaries. Places where faith is rekindled, doubt is named, sin is challenged and where courage is restored.

We would much prefer friendships remain light, casual, spiritually dull and empty. Friendships that have a semblance of being godly but if they should be audited, the content might be more ungodly than one would expect. We would prefer that they share instagram reels 30 times a day, laugh together, complain together and gist. But they should never pray together or for each other. They should never use scripture to encourage one another or share scripture, sermons and songs that they know will encourage each other and cause them to grow more in love and fellowship with each other.

Yet here you stand on another year of life, having stubbornly refused shallowness.

So while I am obliged to recommend distraction, shallowness,complacency and a gradual cooling of zeal in the year ahead, I have an uncomfortable suspicion that you will continue as you have been.

Loyal, an absolute joy to be with and around, prayerful and sharp.

The kind of friend who encourages in God rather than having nothing of eternal relevance to contribute in seasons when friends need it.

Highly inconvenient.

It appears that another year of your life will not dull you but cause you to increase from strength to strength. That your joy will not wear out but be abundant. That your faith will not fail but will move mountains and be the support for others when theirs is thin. And that those fortunate enough to walk beside you will find themselves encouraged, happier and more in love with God for it.

Most unfortunate for us.

And so, on this birthday of yours, I record this with restrained displeasure: the Enemy seems particularly fond of forming daughters who reflect His loyalty, His courage, and His steadfast love.

May your joy grow in ways that irritate us.

May your faith strengthen others in ways we cannot easily undo.

And may the friendships you nurture continue to please God and show Him forth.

And may all who read this letter feel an inconvenient stirring to become the sort of friend you are to theirs to the glory of God which, I am obliged to add as that will be the result. (but before my fellow demons begin whispering that by observing your life I have been “burnt again” – yes, yes, I do have a few jokes in my arsenal.  Let me clarify: this is precisely the outcome we were, and still are, laboring to prevent. Nevertheless, I suspect you will remain a most formidable complication to our efforts until Jesus comes. I suppose I shall… endure the challenge.)

And from my heart, without pretence:

Happy Birthday, Olivia 

May your life continue to reflect the kind of friendship even hell finds threatening.

And may heaven continue to celebrate what we cannot seem to dismantle.

With measured exasperation and an undeniable awareness that heaven is smiling today.

I register my formal complaint,

Screwtape.